Stanton
by The Obsidian Angel
Summary: The story of how Stanton and Serena came to be using the storyline of Aladdin. Im such a baby... lol. Song parodies and overall chaos O.o READY NOW! Read and Review!
1. Cast

Okay, taking my TWO REVIEWS into consideration… I decided on the cast. In order of appearance as far as I know…

Karyl – Weird guy who sings at the beginning

Kelly – His friend

Lambert – Jafar

Aura – Iago

Thief - Murray

Aladdin – Stanton

Abu – Cassandra (I know… kinda wrong)

Guards – Daughters and their boyfriends

Jasmine – Serena

Sultan – Collin

Rajah - Wally

Genie – Tymmie

Random Prince Dude - Zahi

Random people – Everyone else

I THINK that's everyone…


	2. Los Angeles Nights

I dunno. I tried but I aint promisin nothin. Just read and review and tell me how I can improve. I might rewrite this chapter…

* * *

"_Oh I come from a land_

_In a faraway state_

_Where the wannabe surfers roam_

_Where it's hot and immense_

_And the waves are intense_

_It's AWESOME!_

_And hey_

_It's home_

_Disneyland in the east_

_Hollywood to the west_

_And the sand on the beach is white_

_Come on down_

_Drop on by_

_Catch a taxi and ride_

_To another Los Angeles Night_

_Los Angeles Nights_

_Like Los Angeles days_

_More often than not_

_Are hotter than hot_

_In a lot of good ways_

_Los Angeles Nights_

_Neath Los Angeles moons_

_A daughter off guard_

_Could fall and fall hard_

_For a follower soon"_

The scene opens to reveal Karyl speeding down a lonely highway in a red Lexus. He drunkenly hangs out the window and babbles incoherently, Arabian music blasting from the speakers.

Kelly shrieked from the passenger seat and wrenched him back into the vehicle. "Keep your eyes on the road, you idiot!" she scolded before turning to the radio. "And what is this shit?"

Karyl shrugged, a goofy smile slipping over his lips. It was Friday night and he just got stoned…

"Karyl!" Kelly screamed.

Karyl snapped his head up and groaned. Apparently he had crashed into someone's garage door while in his drug induced fantasy world. "Crap" he muttered, climbing out of the car. "I guess we have to set up shop here". He went to the back of his car, lifted the trunk, and pulled out a mound of bags. Kelly, curiosity overwhelming her, opened a bag with her fingertip to take a peek.

"WEED? KARYL! This is supposed to be a Disney story. You can't sell weed!"

Karyl scratched his head in bewilderment. Disney. What was this… _Disney_?

Kelly went on. "You know. Snow White? Cinderella? Peter Pan?"

"Peter Pan!" Karyl spun around in anger. "That faggot told me I could fly!"

Kelly simply rolled her eyes and started to set up the table herself while Karyl went on about how "these are lies we shouldn't be teaching our children".

When he was finished, he took his place behind the booth and waved a bag over his head.

"YOU IDIOT! We'll be arrested. And give me that!" she snatched a joint away from him. "You can't get stoned! You're about to tell a story! You'll get paranoid".

"I'm not paranoid", he mumbled, his eyes darting about suspiciously. He flinched and did a James Bond roll into some poison ivy.

She glowered over him.

"Fine!" he groaned, scratching incessantly at his neck. It wasn't clear whether this was an effect of the ivy or the masses of weed. He rumbled through the bags. "The lamp. The lamp. The lamp. The lamp…"

"Don't tell me you forgot to bring the lamp"

"Of course I brought the lamp", he chuckled nervously. Finally under a mountain of weed, Tylenol, and various other drugs, he pulled out a silver lamp.

"Ah, the lamp", Karyl babbled in a horrible Arabian accent.

"Karyl"

"Huh?"

"Stop it"

"Okay", he continued on in his usual fashion. "Like many things, it is not what appears on the outside, but what is in the inside that counts. It once changed the course of an old man's life"

"OLD?"

"Well he _is_ old!"

"CHANGE IT!"

"Fine!" He turned back to an invisible camera and gave a mysterious grin. "It once changed the course of a _young_ man's life".

"It begins on a dark night"

"Where a dark man waits"

"With a dark purpose"

"Muhahahahaha-"

"Shut up…"

* * *

Lambert drove up to the silent beach, ocean waves rushing over the sand. He climbed out of his black sports utility van and walked slowly across the terrain, the night breeze caressing his short cut, dark hair. Looking down to admire his new body, he smirked. Sure it was ugly beyond belief. He had a patch over one eye and a peg leg, but he was grateful to have found it. Aura, on the other hand, hadn't been so lucky… She grumbled from her perch on his shoulder.

"How long _now?"_

"Have patience, Iagoooo…. I MEAN Auraaaa", he smirked. That sounded so good he might just repeat himself. "Patiiieeeence".

"I can't _believe_ this! Out of all the places to find bodies-"

"Relax"

"A pet store!" Aura squawked. "A PET STORE, LAMBERT?"

Lambert rolled his eyes and stuffed a cracker in Aura the parrot's mouth.

"Mph!" Aura growled. She glared and latched on to his ear with her beak.

"Aug!" He cried in pain, wrenching the bird from his lobe. He then turned to a black Buick. "You're late"

At this, Murray came scrambling out of the car door. He cowered in fear as he took awkward, trembling steps towards the odd couple. "A thousand apologies, dude!".

Lambert turned back to the roaring ocean. "Open Sesame!" He bellowed and after a matter of seconds, the waters began to disperse, wave after wave until a path of wet sand paved through the ocean, an ethereal glow near the end. Murray held up his arm to deflect the blinding light and they all stared in awe as an invisible voice flooded the night sky, resounding over the ocean waves.

"WHO DAT?" The voice abruptly cleared its throat. "I mean… WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?"

"I- it is I", Murray stammered. "Murray the follower dude!"

Lambert and Aura exchanged worried glances.

"Where'd you find this dumb ass?"

"Shhh!" Lambert closed her beak with his thumb and index finger.

"KNOW THIS. ONLY ONE MAY ENTER HERE. ONE WHOSE WORTH LIES FAR WITHIN. THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!" The voice bellowed and Murray turned back to Lambert, his eyes wide with fear.

"Well, move your punk ass!" Lambert pushed him forward, paying no attention to the warning as he didn't give a damn. "Go on! And remember, bring me the treasure! The lamp is yours! But the treasure is mine!"

"No, you idiot! _We_ want the lamp!"

Lambert thought about this for a moment. "Right. Scratch that. Reverse it".

Murray tumbled down the beach stopping at the start of the ocean. He stood nervously to his feet. Then slowly- ever so slowly- he placed a foot upon the wet sand. He held his breath for awhile and then finally convinced that he wasn't in any immediate danger, he sighed and loosened his tense muscles.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!" The ocean roared.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Murray cried, but it was too late.

"DAYUM!" Aura and Lambert exclaimed in utter horror as the ocean enveloped Murray whole. Lightening flashed through the sky and the voice released one last whisper into the night.

"SEEK THEE OUT" It boomed. "THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH"

"Whatta? Huh?" They stared at nothing in particular as the sound reverberated and bounced off of jagged, eroding stone. Murray's silky, heart underwear washed upon the shore.

"ARGH!" Aura tore at her feathers with her… wings in frustration. "I can't believe this! First you drag me to the fucking pet store! Then you give me this fu-"

She was stifled when Lambert once again shut her beak.

"Patiiiiiiieeeeence, Aura", he sneered. "Murray was obviously less than worthy".

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmph!" She pulled loose. "DUH! NOW HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUR BODIES BACK? We got a big problem here! A big-"

Lambert rolled a long strip of duck tape over her beak. "Damn straight". Lambert put a hand to his chin in thought. "I must find this one. This… diamond in the rough…"

* * *

Ugh. I dunno… I definitely didn't try my best on this chapter but I promise it'll get better later!

REVIEWS:

Demon Dea: Thanks for the ideas! I hadn't thought of using the daughters as guards. Stupid me O.o

Depressed-and-bored: Thanks for the ideas. Especially for the Aura and Lambert idea lol


	3. One Jump Ahead

"Stop!" Jimena shrieked angrily from the entrance of Planet Bang. "You're dead when I find you, you asshole!"

Stanton groaned as Vanessa, Tianna, and Catty bolted out behind her, their moon amulets glowing.

"All this for Mary Ann?" He looked at the girl beside him. She was still entranced from his spell. Well she was no help… Tugging at her arm, he pulled them both into a Planet Bang dumpster. He wrinkled his nose at the pungent smell as he watched the daughters sprint by, looking for him. Then tumbling out, he rolled down hill into a black Mercedes Benz. His head went smack into the car door and the alarm went off, surrendering his whereabouts. Rubbing at his injured head, he looked up to see the daughters racing his way and a rather large dent in the dark metal. That hadn't gone as planned… Jumping from the foundation, he jolted down the block, dragging Mary Ann behind him like a rag doll.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY SO EASY!" Catty screamed.

"You think that was easy?" he muttered to himself.

"GET YO ASS OVA HERE, FOO!" An angry Cassandra suddenly darted out of the cemetery and pulled him and the girl in. She crossed her arms, a worried yet angry expression on her beautiful face. "Getting into trouble a little early tonight, aren't you?"

"Don't worry", Stanton grinned mischievously, pulling Mary Ann to his side. "You're only in trouble if you get caught"

"GOTCHA!" Vanessa wrenched at his blonde bags.

"I'm in trouble!" Stanton wailed. "THE PAIN!"

"And this time- AGH!" Vanessa cried as Cassandra slit her across the arm with her pocket knife.

"Perfect timing as usual" Stanton grinned and took off across the graveyard.

"WAIT FOR ME!" Cassandra called from behind him. He wasn't listening. It was Friday, he was being chased across a cemetery by female warriors, and he had just ran out into a busy street where various cars were honking at him. It was the_ perfect_ time to break out into song.

_Stanton:_ Gotta keep

One jump

Ahead of the taxi

One foot

Ahead of the Ford

I kill

Only when I'm drunk and bored

(And that's everyday!)

One jump ahead of the daughters

Evil?

Maybe. But _so_?

These girls

How much they bitch, you'll never know

_Vanessa:_ FRENCH FRIES?

_Tianna:_ No, why?

_Stanton:_ BITCHES!

_Daughters:_ ARGH! DIE!

_Stanton:_ Can't you just let this _go_?

_Daughters:_ We're daughters of the moon! Hell no!

_Stanton:_ I can take a hint.

Gotta face the facts

You're my only friend, Abu!

_Cassandra:_ WHO?

_Morgan and Corrine:_ Oh, it's sad that Stanton's hit the bottom

He's become a one man rise in crime

_Corrine:_ I'd blame conscience. Oh wait! He hasn't got one.

_Stanton:_ Gotta kill to live

Gotta live to kill

Tell you all about it when I got the time.

One jump ahead of the hookers

Wicked?

Probably. So what?

Don't think

I'm ever gonna lose these sluts

One jump

Ahead of the floozies

One hit ahead of the whores

I could

Surrender myself but what for?

Vanessa: HOTDOGS!

Catty: NESSIE!

Stanton: Retards…

Cassandra: Sexy! (pinches Stanton's ass)

Stanton: (cornered) WAIT! I know karate!

Tianna: Dammit! You are _such_ a hottie!

Stanton: Gotta kill to live

Gotta live to kill

Otherwise we'd get along

Daughters: WRONG!

Stanton: One hop ahead of the harlots  
(Asshole!)  
One jump ahead of the chicks  
(Stoner!)  
One trick ahead of disaster  
(Jerkoff!)  
They're quick, but I'm much faster  
(Drop her!)  
Here goes, How far _is_ this damn song?

We've been singing too long!

All I gotta do is jump!

Stanton pulled Cassandra and Mary Ann off into the shadow world and together they leapt across the night shadows.

"Abu?" She glared at him. "Who the hell is Abu?"

"I dunno", he muttered. "It seemed like the right thing to say". Materializing onto an abandoned street, he took Mary Ann to the side and a devilish grin slipped across his face. "It's time".

Cassandra bounced hyperly from behind him, before finally hitting her head on a stop sign. "Owie…"

Stanton turned Mary Ann to face him, his eyes phosphorescent. He uplifted his spell and the girl suddenly snapped back to reality, fear in her eyes. "WAIT!" She cried.

Cassandra groaned. Don't say it. Don't say it. DON'T SAY-

"What?" Stanton asked, backing away, sincerity in his blue ,sapphire eyes.

Cassandra smacked a hand to her forehead. Not again…

"B- because", the girl stammered as if she didn't know that her slight interference would work. "I… I have a dog!"

"A dog!" Cassandra giggled. "Stanton! A dog!"

Stanton, however, wasn't laughing. "What kind of dog?"

Cassandra let out a low whistle. His eyes were growing bigger and bigger and bigger…

"The… brown kind…"

"I love that kind!"

The girl laughed nervously. "So will you let me go?"

Stanton put a hand to his chin. Was she worth it? A brown dog… a brown dog… a brown dog… "No", he gave her a sympathetic grin and pulled her closer.

"WAIT!"

Cassandra's eyes widened. "Stanton-"

"What?"

_They would be at this all night…_

"Its name is… Spot!"

Stanton looked up, thoughtfully. Spot. He liked that name.

"My mother abandoned me when I was little"

His eyes filled with emotion. "You're shitting me"

Cassandra groaned. They were doomed. DOOMED!

"Cassandra". He turned to her.

"No, Stanton"

"We-"

"Blahblahblahblahblahblah! I can't hear you!" He said something and she stupidly took her hands from her ears.

"Huh?"

"I said we can't do it"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cassandra screamed. She raced after Mary Ann. "Come back here you little bitch!"

Stanton took her by the arm. "Let it go".

She scowled at him. "You certainly had no problem taking me".

"You never begged"

"You never begged"

"Stop mocking me"

"Stop mocking me"

"I'm stupid!"

"You're stupid!"

"DOH!"

They barely dodged out of the street when a car came zooming pass.

"HEY!" Stanton called. "WE'RE WALKING HERE!"

The man in the car, rolled down the window to stick out his middle finger. Unfortunately for him, he lost control of the vehicle and it went ramming into a nearby gate.

"Dammit!" The man cursed and crawled out from the car.

"Zahi!" Stanton exclaimed as the Cincti member made his way towards him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm off to see a daughter" he grinned maliciously. "Serena, I believe"

Stanton nodded. Serena? He didn't think he'd ever met her before… "You'd better be careful. I just escaped from the daughters".

"The day I'll need your blessing is the day I use lotion… I mean…" Zahi insulted himself.

Stanton rolled his eyes. "Well, I hope you can fight better than you drive. Retard…" He muttered under his breath. At this, Zahi spun around and glared at the man.

"You are a pathetic Folower. You were changed a Follower. You will die a Follower. And not even _she_ will mourn you". At this he climbed into his car, slammed the door, and sped off …. further into the gate. A sheepish smile on his face, he backed up into a mud puddle which spilled all over Stanton and Cassandra and shot off into the night. Stanton punched his fist into the iron gate.

"AHHHH! SPIKE!" He screamed and blew at his hand for some strange reason seeing that it most definitely wasn't on fire. Calming himself, he sighed. "I'm not pathetic… and you will mourn me… won't you?"

Cassandra whistled and looked the other way. He only sighed and with his head down, he headed towards the three story building that he called home. Climbing the narrow staircase, he finally entered the mess of pizza boxes, beer cans, and dirt ridden furniture. Cassandra yawned and lay out, stretched upon the couch.

"Our usual routine?" She asked teasingly, pulling at his waist.

He pushed her away. "No…" Walking across the room, he sat down near the only window along the walls and sighed.

His mind ran crazy with all of the insults that he had received that day.

_You're dead when I find you, you asshole!_

_YOU WON'T GET AWAY SO EASY_

_GET YO ASS OVA HERE, FOO_

_You're stupid!_

_You're stupid!_

_You're stupid!_

_You're stupid!_  
"Cassandra, SHUT UP!"

"Okay…"

He leaned back against the window and decided that it was another good time to break out into song.

"Nevertheless

I feel depressed.

What if they looked closer?

Would they help?

Or answer to my plea?

They'd find out

There's so much more

To me"

It was then that the glass broke and Stanton went cascading from the three story window. But _that's_ another story…


	4. Love a First Sight

IM BACK! I made it extra long this time! But when I haven't written in a long time, I get rusty so DON'T BE TOO HARSH! But then again, don't be afraid to tell me my mistakes!

* * *

The Killingsworth household. Bold. Beauitiful. Majestic.

And incredibly insane.

But one man dared to venture where no man had gone before… with dire consequences.

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!" Zahi cried in agony as two rows of sharp teeth tore into his backside. "Get it off! Get it off! GET IT OFF!"

Serena however, paid him no mind. She had _much_ better things to do. Like watching the Simpsons and staring at her bedroom wall. When she didn't turn around, Zahi began to ram his ass into the door in hopes that the raccoon would release him, but it just chomped down harder. He finally gave it a good smack upside the head with Serena's lava lamp and stumbled out of the room, bawling like a two year old. Collin spotted him and rushed to his side. He let his eyes wander down to Zahi's backside. They lit up.

"Bob the Builder! Dude, I love that show!"

Zahi immediately covered his underwear so that the only thing left visible was Bob's yellow pick up truck. Regaining his pride, he wiped at the dampness on his cheeks and scowled in the direction of Serena's room. "I've never been so insulted in all my life!"

_FATSO!_

_JERK!_

_YOU'RE A SHAME TO THIS FAMILY!_

_Retard…_

_The day I use lotion… lotion…_

Okay. So maybe he had.

"Aw c'moooooooooooon, Zack!"

"Zahi"

"Whatever. You're not leaving so soon, are you?"

Zahi scoffed. "Good luck with _that_!" He motioned towards Serena's room before stomping down the stairs and out of the front door. He gaped at what he saw there.

"WOO HOO!" Serena cried from the front seat of his convertible. Wally gave him a paw up from the passenger's seat. Then with one last wave, they headed off towards the beach.

"Not again!" Collin shook his head and started toward his own car. "Come on".

* * *

Two hours later… 

"Oh Serena! Serena! Serena! Serena!" Collin yelled at the top of his lungs.

"I'm right here!" Serena scolded her brother. She tossed back a lock of dark hair, crimson red accenting the tips, and let it billow in the soft ocean breeze. Wally sat at her side, making a sandcastle. Before Collin could contemplate on just how this was possible, his mind returned to Zahi. They had drove all the way down to the beach before they had finally caught up with his car. Well, what was left of it anyway. Serena did not have a license. Nor did she have any clue what to do behind the wheel. And after a few dozen rounds with trees, gates, and other obstacles that she claimed had just 'been in the way', the vehicle wasn't fit for anything but the junkyard. Collin groaned to himself and watched as Wally placed the missing piece of Zahi's pants at the top of his sandcastle. The raccoon saluted to it as if it were a flag. He glared and snatched it off.

"So this is why Zahi stormed out!"

Serena let out a soft breath and smiled. "Aw, Collin. Wally was just playing with him! Weren't you, Wally?" She took the raccoon in her arms and laughed as it pawed softly at her nose.

"So I guess you were just playing when you wrecked his car back there?"

She shrugged and bit her bottom lip. Collin sighed.

"Serena, you've gotta stop stealing cars from every guy who wants to date you. There is Drivers Ed, you know". He brushed a hand across her hair. "And Morgan says…"

"I need a boyfriend" Serena finished for him before tossing a few cookie bits at the sea gulls.

"By the homecoming dance"

"Morgan is wrong!" She rolled her large emerald green eyes and pulled out more cookies.

"You've only got five more days!"

"Collin!" she roared. "I don't care! And if I do go with someone, I want it to be for sex. I mean, money! I mean……"

"Love?" Collin offered.

"That's the one"

"Serena, it's not just Morgan. It's just that… you're always around. I never have any privacy"

"So you want to kick me out the house?" she asked, twirling her fingers about in the ocean.

"Basically"

"So you can…?"

"Nothing!" he answered right away his eyes darting about suspiciously. Whatever he did in his alone time was _his_ business… and perfectly natural… "But ANYWAY" he started, eager to change the subject. "You have to get a boyfriend! One that surfs! And listens to Dick Dale! And wears Bob the Builder underwear!"

"Collin-"

"Barney is an exception"

"Collin!"

"It's perfectly natural!" he boomed, wondering if she was returning to the 'being alone' factor.

"_What_?" she asked before frowning. "Try to understand. I've never had a real boyfriend before. I should do this on my own"

"But Morgan said you could be more popular!"

"Well maybe I don't want to be popular anymore!"

"AGH!" Collin roared. "Allah forbid you should have any daughters!"

"WHAT?" Serena cocked an eyebrow.

"Nothin". Even Collin didn't understand what he had just said…

Serena shrugged and after watching him walk off into the sunset, she turned back to see a swarm of birds circling around her. They didn't look happy.

_Uh oh…_

* * *

Collin let out a deep breath as he approached his van. "I don't know where she gets it from. Mom wasn't nearly that picky…" Suddenly a shadow fell over him and materialized into a tall sinister looking man with a black patch over one eye, a parrot on his shoulder. 

"Shiver me timbers", the man croaked before the parrot wacked him upside the head. "I MEAN-"

"Dude!" Collin roared. "That was cool! How did you do that?"

"A magic trick" the man responded dully. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lambert. And this is Aura. Aura the Parrot"

A wide grin spread over Collin's lips. "COOL! A REAL LIVE PIRATE!"

Lambert frowned. "I am not a pirate, you impudent fo- I MEAN of course I'm a pirate! And do you know what pirates do?"

"Pilfer, drink rum, and fight with Orlando Bloom?"

He shook his head. This was a sad case. "No, Cody"

"Collin"

"No, Collin. They help. It's what we live for" he lied.

"Oh", Collin nodded, taking it all in. He grimaced. "What about my sister? Bet you couldn't help me with that"

Lambert grinned evilly. The _Goddess!_ Exactly what he wanted to discuss.

"Are you grinning evilly?"

"No", he lied, the evil grin still plastered there.

"Yes you are"

"Am not", he smooth his cheeks down so that he was frowning grotesquely.

"Dude, that's scary! Stop!" Collin begged.

"Sorry", he mumbled.

"I dunno, Lambert", Collin complained. "I mean she's pissing me off. No shit"

"Awk!" Aura squawked. "No shit!"

Collin grinned in amusement and stuffed one of Serena's burnt cookies in Aura's mouth. He and Lambert both laughed.

"You sure have a way with dumb blondes- I MEAN animals" Lambert corrected himself. "Now maybe I can suggest a solution to this problem?"

"If anyone can help, it's you!" Collin grinned. "Will you introduce me to Orlando Bloom?"

"Whatever, kid" Lambert muttered. "But it will require the use of a mystic moon amulet".

"Uh", Collin stammered. "Serena's necklace? But she's had it for years"

"But it's necessary for you to meet Orlando Bloom", his eyes grew phosphorescent.

"But…" Collin felt himself slipping.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine"

"Everything… will… be fine"

"The amulet"

"Here", Collin took it from the back seat of the van where Serena had left it and handed it to Lambert. A goofy smile slipped over his lips. "Orlando Blooooom"

_Idiot_, Lambert thought before pulling Collin out of the daze and smiling.

"You're doing it again" Collin warned him.

He tried to wipe the evil from his face. "Thank you. Now run along and play with your little surf board".

"Right" Collin nodded, still a little fazed.

Lambert abruptly turned around and headed towards the beaten up trailer that he now called home.

"I can't take it anymore!" Aura boomed, spitting out as much of the cookie that she had kept from sliding down her parrot throat. "If he EVER does that again-"

"Caaaaaallllllm yourself, Aura" Lambert spoke in a slow voice. "Soon we'll murder that idiot"

"And then _I'll_ stuff cookies down _his_ throat!"

Lambert swung open the trailer door and watched as it pummeled from the hinges and onto the ground. "Dammit…"

* * *

Later that night… 

Serena groaned in pain as she poked her head out of the ocean. "Are they gone?" she whispered to Wally. She frowned when she received no answer. Wally was smart. He had gotten away when he had the chance. Her eyes scanned the now dark, starry skies. No sea gulls in sight. She grinned and then jumping out of the water, she dashed for the shore. Where had they gone? Had they finally decided to leave her alone? She took in a sharp breath and continued across the ocean. It had all started when she decided to feed them cookies. She saw it as a friendly gesture between species. They saw it as her tossing hard, chocolate rocks at them. She finally reached the sands and sighed in relief. Now she could finally get home. Making her way over the various litter and dunes, she spotted a small beach shack. Approaching the door, she knocked on it and waited for a response. Finally the hinges creaked and it slowly opened to reveal complete and utter darkness. She gasped. "Er... hello?" No answer. "Is anyone there?"

Suddenly there was a vaguely familiar fluttering in the distance. She spun around to meet fierce beady eyes.

"AWK!"

Uh oh…

* * *

The next day… 

"Okay, Cassandra!" Stanton prompted her. "Go!"

A sultry smile slipped over Cassandra's face and she walked over to a hotdog stand. "Hi there, cutie", she greeted the vendor seductively.

"Cassandra!" Stanton slapped a hand to his forehead. "That's a woman!"

"Oh, right" Cassandra nodded and walked down to the pretzel vendor. "Hi there".

"Get your pretzels!" the man sang. "Your pretzels!"

"Hi!" Cassandra rang again, lifting her arms up over her head to expose some serious midriff.  
He stared at her blankly. "Hello……… GET YOUR PRETZELS!" Cassandra groaned and simply hypnotized the man.

"See ya" She walked over and handed two pretzels to Stanton.

"Thanks, Cassandra". He smiled and took one. "Breakfast is served", he said in a very gay, unStanton- like voice.

Over on La Cienega, a wayward Serena marched down the street, still recovering from the beating the birds had given her only hours ago. Luckily, a group of surfers had come by and fought them off.

A potter glanced up to grin at her. "Would you like to buy a pot? No finer pot in brass or silver!"

"Pot?" Serena boomed before realizing they were talking about two different things. Her eyes grew uninterested. What the hell would she need with a pot anyway?

"Milky Ways! Milky Ways and Starbursts!" a grocer announced. "Milky Ways and pistachios!"

She grinned nervously, pushing through the different vendors.

"Would you like a necklace?"

"Er…"

"FRESH FISH! We catch em! You buy em!"

"Uh… I don't think so…" She backed away and bumped into a guy causing him to back flip over his motorcycle. She bit her bottom lip and slowly snuck away. "Ow! Watch it!" she cried out as a taxi narrowly missed her, gaining her the attention of a certain blonde haired, blue eyed, Prince of Darkness.

"Whoa!" Stanton choked through his pretzel. "She's ho- ACK!" He cut off, struggling for breath.

"Stanton?" Cassandra raised an eyebrow.

His face grew red.

"Are you okay?"

He groped at her sides for assistance.  
"Stanton! You animal, you!" She giggled and slapped him around. Purple now, he pummeled to the cement. When he didn't get up, she kicked at him. "Stanton?"

"Choking!" he managed to get out.

"What?"

"Ack!"

"Speak up!"

Across the street, Serena was still dodging cars. She suddenly spotted a little girl walking desolately down the road, her clothes muddy and wrinkled. She gave Serena a sad frown, and Serena, who couldn't resist kids with sad frowns just had to do something. She just _had_ to.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Serena ran her hands through the girl's hair. "You must be hungry". Serena ignored the hotdog and burger stands and immediately grabbed a Milky Way. She stupidly tossed it to the child. "There you go" The girl smiled and ran off.

Serena beamed. She had done a good deed! That is until she heard a low, gruff voice behind her.

"You'd better be able to pay for that"

Serena looked as if she'd never heard the word 'pay' in her life. "Oh, right". She nodded slowly and reached for her wallet. Nothing. She tried the next pocket. Nada. Swallowing hard, she foolishly looked up to the heavens as if she would find the money there. And strangely enough she did. A sea gull flew overhead, a small black object in its beak. Among him were two other birds, one with sunglasses and another carrying a small Nokia phone. "COME BACK!" she cried. She turned to the man and pointed to the bird flying farther into the distance. "It has my money!"

The man glared. "CRAZY BITCH!"

"Please! If you let me go home I can get some!" she cried.

"Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?" the man threatened, holding up his cell phone to call the police.

"No! Dad'll kill me!"

The man stepped out from the counter, unaware of the unconscious Stanton resting on the ground. He tripped over him and the cell phone fell to the ground, breaking into with a loud crack.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the man cried.

Serena sighed in relief. "Er… I'll just be going-"

"Oh no you don't"

Stanton, awakened by the sudden jolt, opened his eyes and sighed in relief that he wasn't choking anymore. He rubbed at his side where the man had tripped over him and slowly rose to his feet. Spotting the vendor, his eyes flooded with recognition. "Hey! I stole from you two days ago!"

"What?"

"Nothing". He corrected himself, eying Cassandra as she stuffed mounds of Milky Ways, Starbursts, and pistachios into her bra. "You look upset"

The man scowled and turned to Serena. "She just stole from my shop!"

Stanton turned to Serena and his eyes widened, recognizing her as the girl he had been staring at only minutes ago. A smirk slipped over his lips. Well, he knew who he'd be crossing over tonight. The vendor stared at the two.

"You two know each other?"

Serena looked at him expectantly.

Stanton gazed back before putting a finger to his chin. He shook his head. "Never seen her before in my life"

Her jaw dropped.

"I MEAN", he started, finally catching on. "Sadly yes. She is my grandma"

Serena shook her head rapidly.

"I MEAN daughter"

She jabbed him in the side.

"OW!" he cried. "Sister! She's my goddamn sister! HAPPY?"

The man glared and took Stanton by his collar. "She said sea gulls took her money!"

"Right" Stanton shot her a weird look. "She's a little crazy"

Serena scowled at him. "I'm not-"

"Tragic, isn't it?" he cut her off. "But no harm done". He pulled a Milky Way off of the counter and tossed it at the man.

The man cocked an eyebrow. "I saw that"

"No you didn't"

"Yes, I did"

"… no you didn't"

"Yes, I did"

"……………………………………………………………………………………… RUN!"

With that, they all darted down the block going no where in particular, candy bars pouring out of Cassandra's shirt.

* * *

Bob's Trailer Park… 

"HARHARHARHAR!" Lambert perfected his evil pirate laugh. Aura seemed less amused on the opposite side of the room, running on a treadmill with smoke pouring out of it in order to operate Lambert's crystal ball. Serena's moon amulet rested in the center of the glass.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" she huffed. "FOR NOT PAYING THE ELECTRIC BILL!"

"Save your breath, Aura!" he roared. "FASTER!"

"BITE ME!"

As Aura ran faster, Lambert peered into the dark depths of his crystal ball and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"It's not going to work" Aura muttered.

"Stupid dollar store" he groaned. "They guaranteed better reception or your money back!"

"Let's blast it"

"Okay" Lambert nodded and kicked the crystal ball when suddenly a picture came into view.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!" Lambert hissed. "YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS! There he is! The diamond in the rough!"

In the center of the ball rested a faint image of Stanton tumbling up the stairs of an apartment building, Serena struggling desperately to pull him to a stationary position.

Aura cocked an eyebrow at the man in the glass. "STANTON? It's _him_? That's the asshole we've been looking FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!" She trailed off as her feathers got caught in the treadmill, sending her round and round in a spiral.

"Let's inform the daughters of his whereabouts, shall we?"

Aura finally slipped out of the machine and went flying beak forward out of the trailer window. "Fuck!" she cried from the lake.

"MWAHARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!" Lambert just laughed his trademark pirate laugh and stared at the wailing Stanton behind the crystal.

* * *

Meanwhile… 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Serena asked as they walked pass a group of boys playing catch in the hallway. She had never seen anyone fall up the stairs before.

He nodded and forced a smile. "Almost there" A tennis ball caught him in the back of head and he seethed, glaring at the boys who had thrown it.

She laughed before missing a step and stumbling into his arms. "Er", she began, pulling away. "I want to thank you for tripping that man"

"Uh forget it", he frowned, remembering the feel of salt and pretzel dough in his throat. "So is this your first time downtown?"

She laughed. "I just moved here from Long Island. Was it that obvious?"

"Well, you do stand out". He gave her his best to- die- for smile. "You obviously don't know how dangerous L. A can be"

One of the boys sent a fast ball her way and she reached out and caught it before it could strike her in the face. She grinned. "I'm a fast learner"

He smiled back but Cassandra only rolled her eyes.

"Right", he nodded. "Come on. It's this way". He led her down the hall and to a door. Pulling a key out, he unlocked it and walked in to reveal the same dingy apartment.

"Is this where you live?" she wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah", he grimaced. "Me and every other follower"

"What?" her eyes grew alert.

"Nothing", he smirked. She would know soon enough. "But" He pulled open the curtains to reveal La Brea street along with her new High School. "It's got a great view. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah", she muttered. "Cool."

He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go there and just live a normal life…"

She frowned. "Yeah sure. People who tell you who to date and how to dress…"

"It's better than here. Always scraping for victims- I MEAN food and dodging the police"

"You're not free to make your own choices"

"Sometimes you feel so…"

"Trapped", they rang in unison.

Cassandra gagged and raced for the bathroom.

"So…" Stanton started, grabbing one of the candy bars that had fell from Cassandra's bra. He tossed it to Serena and she grimaced. "Where you from?"

"Does it matter?" she sighed. "I'm not going back"

"Really?" he asked taking a pistachio from Cassandra's bra as she reentered the room.

She glowered over him. "WHY YOU!"

He ignored her and walked over to sit beside Serena on Karyl's bed. She winced.

"My brothers trying to force me to date so he can be alone, the most popular bitch at school is targeting me, and to top it off I'm a Godde-" she cut herself off, realizing what she was saying.

"A what?" he asked alarmed.

"Nothing"

"That sucks".

"I know", she nodded.

He scowled, spotting Cassandra trying to steal her Milky Way. "Cassandra!"

"What?" Serena asked.

"Well… Cassandra thinks… that's not fair"

"WHAT?" Cassandra roared.

"Really?" Serena asked, surprised.

"Of course" he nodded, drawing closer to her. "And she wishes there was some way she could help"

"Oh, hell no…" Cassandra muttered.

"Well, tell her… that's really sweet", Serena whispered, their lips not more than an inch apart now.

"THERE YOU ARE!" a girl's voice bellowed. They both looked up to see Jimena, Vanessa, Catty, and Tianna glowering over them.

"They found me!" they both cried together before giving each other strange looks. "They're after _you_?"  
"Collin must have sent them-"

"Do you trust me?" Stanton jumped on the window ledge and held out his hand.

"Uh…"

"Do you _trust_ me?" he asked again impatiently.

"Um… I guess" She took his hand.

"Then jump!" he cried, pulling her out of the window.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her screams bounced off of the buildings and they finally landed in a dumpster lining the alley way.

"GROSS!" Serena choked.

"No time". He pulled her out of the trash only to run into an angry Jimena.

"We just keep running into each other, don't we?"

He scowled at the girl and then watched as Cassandra came up from behind her. She pulled out her knife but not before Vanessa could ram into her, leaving Catty and Tianna to tackle him and Serena.

"It's the dungeon for you, baby", Tianna threatened.

The daughters all stared at her. "Dungeon?"

"Right", Tianna blushed. "The basement then".

"Get off me!" Stanton pushed her away, but it was no use. The light from their amulets blinded him and tore into his skin.

"Let go of him!" Serena cried from Catty's arms.

"Serena?" Catty let her go and stared wide eyed at her face. "I didn't recognize you with all the water and the sand…"

"I was attacked by sea gulls", Serena explained as if it happened everyday. "Now, let him go!"

"But Serena", Vanessa complained. "You're a Goddess! You-"

"Goddess?" Stanton boomed only to be smacked upside the head by Tianna.

"Shut up".

"Goddess?" Cassandra fell over with laughter.

"But what are you doing out here? With a follower?" Jimena asked.

"A follower?" she choked. "No way! Who told you that?"

"Well this pirate named Lambert told us where you were. I guess you'll have to take it up with him"

She crossed her arms and gave them all a look that said I'm-one-pissed-off-Goddess-dammit. "Believe me. I will".

* * *

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	5. The Ocean of Wonders

Authors Note: Now that summer is here I have a lot less college work to do and a lot more free time on my hands so I made a triple update. Two more updates for other stories will be posted after this. I've been reading a lot and it's really helped as well as taking a Fiction Writing class (even though I hated it). So I don't have to block anymore. And I enjoy writing again. Well, I hope you like it the update I had completely forgotten about the magic carpet so I had to make something up on the spot. Heh.

* * *

Our favorite follower turned pirate was living the life on the Killingworth balcony, complete with lounge chairs and the finest Kool- aid that Wally could stir. He and Aura had been pampered, praised and left with the words, "Any friend of Orlando Bloom is a friend of mine". Lambert sighed in relaxation and Aura squawked, agitated, from her new birdcage, compliments of Collin of course. It didn't matter that the bars were sterling silver. 3 X 3 feet was **NOT** enough beak space. Just when Lambert was about to tell her to shut the hell up, who should come storming from the glass paneled doors but- 

_Serena_, Lambert thought, his evil pirate grin returning.

"Lambert?"

"Oh, uh… Goddess…"

Aura scowled up at the girl, determined to give the Killingsworths a piece of her mind, when Lambert took the cage and tossed it over the balcony.

"ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the parrot roared, very unparrot like.

"How may I help you?" he yelled in an attempt to drown out Aura's tortured screams. Serena stared at him suspiciously and he returned it with an ever so amicable smile. Though, still wary, she went on.

"The daughters just kidnaped an innocent boy. They said you could tell me why"

"Your brother asked me to protect you! The boy is a follower!"

"Right", Serena rolled her eyes. "And what made you think that?"

"I CANT MOVE!" Aura wailed from below.

"He tried to cross you over!"

"HELP ME!"

Lambert tossed a lounge chair over the edge.

"That hurt…"

Serena went on, despite her good furniture being thrown over balconies and whatnot. "He didn't try to cross me over! He was helping me!"

Lambert immediately put on a frown, but his acting skills were horrible so it looked more like he'd just swallowed a lemon whole. "Well, hot damn. If only you'd said something sooner…"

"What do you mean?" Serena took a few steps closer.

"Sadly, his sentence has already been carried out".

Serena cocked an eyebrow. "Sentence?"

"Death"

She gasped.

"By the plank"

She took a moment to ponder this before falling to the ground dramatically. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Lambert, eyes wide, decided to comfort her. "Uh… I am very sorry, Sere- ACK ACK!" he screeched as Serena had taken hold of his throat.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" she cried before shoving him forward where he toppled over the edge of the balcony and landed back- first on Aura's cage.

"So", Aura started, apparently delighted at his pain. "How'd it go?"

"I think she took it... rather well…" he squeaked before fainting.

* * *

Later that night in Serena's bedroom… 

"It's all my fault, Wally", she whined even though it was indeed not all her fault. "I didn't even know his _nam_e".

* * *

Meanwhile in Tianna's basement… 

A few rats scurried past a particularly emo Stanton. He sat in filth, dirt, and a some of Tianna's old boxes, his hands cuffed to a pole, where the daughters had forced him to perform various strip teases. Of course, he could have used his awesome shadowy powers to escape, but the thought had yet to occur to him. Besides, that would undermine the whole purpose of this entire story.

"She was a Goddess!" Stanton told any rat that would listen. "I don't believe it! I must have sounded so stupid to her!" He banged his head against the pole and nearly fainted.

The rats inched away from Stanton. They had considered biting him but once he opened his mouth, they'd thought better of it and left him alone.

"Yoo hoooooo!" A familiar voice called from the distance. "Stantooooon!"

Stanton glanced up to the ceiling to see Cassandra sitting atop a window ledge, her legs dangling over the edge.

"Cassandra!" he exclaimed. "Down he-"

"OOOMPH!" He watched as she lost her balance and fell about twenty feet down from the window.

"I'm okay." she mumbled from the concrete. Good thing this was a Disney movie...

Pebo the rat, however, was not so lucky.

Stanton cringed. He really liked that guy... "Come on! Help me out of these!" He pulled at the cuffs.

Cassandra just laughed. "Why don't you call your Goddess and ask _her_?"

Stanton blinked for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't have a cell phone." His eyes lit up. "Do you?"

Cassandra sent him a death glare.

"Wait. I don't have her number."

"If you hadn't have brought her home in the first place, none of this ever would have happened!"

"She was in trouble!" Stanton argued, suddenly defender of man. "Damn..." he sighed. "She was worth it."

"Yeah yeah yeah." Cassandra groaned and removed a few small, brass tools from her bra to start on Stanton's chains. He wondered what all she had in there...

"Don't worry." he laughed bitterly. "I'll never bring _her_ home again. I'm a follower, remember? She'd never want to go out with someone like me." He let his hair fall over his eyes, trying to perfect his brooding mood. "Darkness consumes me."

Cassandra rolled her eyes and shoved him. "Stop being so emo!" She tossed the cuffs into a nearby box.

"Owie." Something squeaked. Stanton turned in its direction and when nothing happened, he went back to his former emoness.

"I'm a..." he rubbed at the cuts on his wrists for dramatic effect. "I'm such a fool!"

"You're only a fool if you give up, matey."

"EEE!" Both Cassandra and Stanton shrieked as they turned to the box where the sound had come from.

A man suddenly popped out of it. He wore a black pirate hat, a long trench coat, and obviously fake golden teeth. A scraggly dark beard flowed down his front with an ever so conspicuous tag that read "Purchased at Wal Mart".

Stanton blinked. "Lambert?"

"Um..." The pirate paused. "... no."

Stanton scratched his head. "I think you're Lambert."

"I am _not_ Lambert!"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "You look an awful lot like Lambert to me."

"_I-am-not-Lambert_!" he huffed and puffed. "I am a _pirate_! I pilfer, drink rum, and fight with Orlando Bloom!"

Stanton frowned, still unconvinced. "Well-"

"Is Lambert a pirate?!"

"Er... no."

"Does he pilfer, drink rum, and fight with Orlando Bloom?!"

"... no..."

"Then I am_ not_ Lambert."

Stanton began to nod slowly in understanding. He guessed that made sense... "So... _who_ exactly are you?"

"A lowly prisoner like yourself." the pirate who wasn't Lambert hissed. "But together, perhaps we can be _more_."

Stanton gulped. "Um... dude. I don't swing that way..."

"There is an ocean, matey! An ocean of wonders! Filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams! Treasure enough to impress even your _Goddess,_ I'd wager."

Stanton raised an eyebrow. "And what is this ocean called?"

"Er..." the pirate scratched at his beard. "The Pacific to be exact but um..."

"Lambert!" Aura's large beak poked out of the trench coat. "Hurry the fuck up! I'm dying in here!"

Lambert shoved the parrot back into his coat and grinned widely at a suspicious Cassandra and Stanton.

"...That parrot just called you Lambert."

The pirate started to sweat. "Would Lambert walk around with live parrots popping out of his shirt?"

"... I guess not." Stanton frowned before returning to the matter at hand. "But I don't think I can win her over with gold or jewels. I should be true to myself and show her that I really do have a good heart. Only then will she truly accept me."

They all glared at his premature character development.

"... okay. Forget I said that."

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend." The pirate grinned widely, one of his fake golden teeth popping out and hitting Cassandra in the eye.

"AGHHHHHHH!" she cried.

Stanton folded his arms in thought. "So why would you share all this wonderful treasure with me?"

"I need a young man with strong legs and a strong back to go in after it." He tapped at Stanton's back and legs with his peg leg.

"Um... one problem." Stanton started, backing away. "It's out there. We're... in here?" He mentally applauded his brain on a job well done.

"Har, har, har." The pirate lifted a drill gun out of no where and knocked out the wall beneath the window. "Things aren't always what they seem." He turned to face Stanton. "So do we have a deal?"

Stanton turned to Cassandra who only shrugged.

"Don't look at me."

* * *

Countless mounds of dirt, a scraped knee and two buses later they had found themselves on a secluded beach. The pirate who was not Lambert raised his arms dramatically to the skies. "Open Sesame!" 

The ocean began to split in two, the waters building into towers on both sides. Stanton gasped in amazement. It was just like that movie Prince of Egypt but with less Egyptians. Finally a mystical glow appeared in the center of the parted waters and a deep voice thundered from within.

"WHO DISTURBS MY PORN- I MEAN SLUMBER! WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?!"

"Meep" Stanton squeaked and Cassandra shoved him towards the ocean.

"I- it is I! Stanton!" He trembled violently.

"PROCEED!" the ocean boomed. "TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP!"

The mystical glow began to spread and opened up to reveal a dark cavern.

"Remember, matey!" the pirate roared. "First fetch me the lamp! And _then_! You shall have your reward!" He cackled maniacally. "_Savvy?_"

Stanton stepped forward. "Come on, Abu."

"_What_?" Cassandra snapped.

So they ventured on into the Pacific ocean of wonders, down dark marble staircases, and finally into a glowing chamber.

"Would ya look at that!" Stanton exclaimed in a very strange, un-Stanton like voice.

Cassandra's eyes widened. Silver, gold, and multi-colored jewels stretched as far as the eye could see.

"Just a handful of this stuff would make me richer than the Cincti... Cassandra!"

He took Cassandra by the hair before she could dive bomb into a pile of gold coins. "That hurts more than it looks! You can't believe everything you see on Ducktales!"

She stopped struggling and stared forlornly after the enticing treasure.

He released her dreadfully died hair and spun her around to face him. "Don't! Touch! ANYTHING!" He pushed past her. "We have to find that lamp."

Cassandra fell into step with him when suddenly, a strange feeling came over her.

She spun around quickly to catch whatever she felt was behind her but saw nothing but the usual treasure. And a peculiar purple surf board.

"Huh?" She frowned. "Stanton was there a surf board here before?"

"Shut up, Cassandra. I'm trying to think."

She knew how hard this was for him so she continued to walk on. When they'd made it halfway through the room, she turned around to see that the surf board was now leaning against a pile of rubies.

"Stanton!" she squeaked, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

"Cassandra!" he groaned. "Now I have to start all over again!"

She groaned and kept walking, trying not to pay attention to the possessed surf board. That is until something shoved her roughly in the ass.

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" she screeched, running into Stanton and tackling him to the ground.

He scowled at her. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMA-"

She grabbed him by the chin and spun him around to face the surf board.

"Cassandra are you fucking in... sane?"

The surf board peeked out from behind a giant sapphire.

"Dude!" Stanton popped up like a hyper active child. "A magic surf board!"

Cassandra scratched at her head. A magic surf board?

"Coooooome on." Stanton motioned it forward. "Come on out. I'm not gonna hurt you."

The surf board tip-toed out from behind the gem. As well as a surf board could tip-toe anyway. It was very shy. It dropped down to the floor and scooped up what looked like a bundle of maroon, blue, and black hair. Flying in their direction, it handed the bundle to Cassandra.

Stanton blinked. "You wear extensions?"

Cassandra had begun to turn red, her breathing heavy. She grabbed the extensions from the surf board and smacked it with them. "Get the hell away from me!"

The surf board turned and began to walk away, sadly.

Stanton started to chuckle. The surf board had totally just been burned. But then he realized something. "Hey, wait! Don't go! Maybe you can help us!"

The surf board jumped up and down and spun around the two numerous times before cutting one corner too close and catching Cassandra dead in the gut.

"Oooooooooh." She fell to her knees.

"Hey!" Stanton ignored her. "We need to find this lamp!"

The surf board stood to attention and immediately flew out of the room.

Stanton raised an eyebrow before smiling. "That must mean it knows where it is!" He pulled Cassandra up roughly by her arm. "Let's follow it!"

They passed through another long cave before eventually emerging into a large chamber, though this one was seriously lacking in treasure. The only thing worth ogling here was a tall pillar in the center of the room. A staircase led up to it and a lake lay at the bottom where sharp, uneven stones formed a bridge. A ray of light shot up from the top of the pillar.

"Whoa." Stanton stared. "Trippy."

He stepped onto the first rock sticking out of the lake. "Wait here."

"Sure." Cassandra shrugged. She was about to ask him why he hadn't asked the magic surf board to take him up there when she spotted something pink and sharp sticking out of the sand. She bent down. A sea shell! It was a little known fact, but Cassandra loved sea shells. She even had her own collection back at home! Ignoring a golden monkey shrine that held a large ruby, she reached forward for the sea shell. The surf board tried to block her path, but she ducked under it, her palm outstretched.

Up on the pillar, Stanton was huffing and puffing. He had miraculously reached the top in the pass thirty seconds or so and there he saw a copper tea pot. Well, lamp.

"This is _it_?" He picked it up. "_This_ is what I came all the way down here fo-" He glanced down to see Cassandra lunging for the sea shell and cut off. "CASSANDRA! NO!"

Too late.

Cassandra was holding the sea shell to her ear now, trying to hear the ocean inside when suddenly, the chamber began to rumble.

"INFIDELS!"

Cassandra glanced up. "Uh oh..."

"YOU HAVE TOUCHED THE FORBIDDEN TREASURE!

Cassandra let the sea shell fall back to her feet and gave her sweetest smile.

"NOW YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN SEE THE LIGHT! OF! DAY!"

Cassandra swallowed hard. "Because I touched a sea shell?"

Stanton started to race down the steps, but they flattened into a ramp and he slid down. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- AHHH!" He screamed as the ramp ended and he flew straight into the air. He looked down to see that the water had turned into lava and nearly shit himself trying not to scream. He suddenly felt the surf board underneath him, taking him up away from the burning hot lava.

"HELP!" Cassandra cried from a rock. The stones were exploding one by one and hers wasn't too far behind

"Cassandra!" The surf board raced downwards and Stanton swung an arm in her direction, trying to knock her off. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

She grabbed on to his arm before he could pull it back and they flew forward just as the rock finally exploded into lava.

"You just _had_ to touch something _didn't_ you?!" Stanton tried to shake her off. "You just _had_ to!"

"Stop trying to kill me!" she screeched, pulling herself onto the board. Her eyes trembled and she slipped her arms around his waist. "Don't you love me anymore?!"

"Cassandra!" He pushed her off of him. "This is no time to cry!" He looked ahead and saw that they were about to crash into a wall.

"Okay." he whimpered, choking back tears. "You can start crying now."

The surf board dipped into a dive and then into another cave. They sped into the room full of treasure and finally towards the entrance.

"WOO HOOOO!" Stanton whooped. A boulder then inconveniently bombed into the surfboard and sent it to the ground in a boomerang motion. Reaching up, Stanton gripped the rocky floor to the entrance and pulled himself through the ethereal white light. It would have been much easier if Cassandra hadn't been draped around his neck...

When he was halfway out, he spotted the pirate standing over him, stroking his beard.

"HELP ME!" Stanton cried.

"Throw me the lamp!"

"I can't hold on!" Stanton whined. "Give me your hand!"

"First give me the lamp!"

"Gawd! Fine!" Stanton reached into his jeans and pulled out the magic lamp which had conveniently stayed put all this time. He handed it to the pirate who snatched it away.

"HAR! HAR! HAR! HAR! YES! AT LAST! HAR HAR HAR HAR!"

Stanton had begun to finish climbing up when the pirate kicked Cassandra away and took Stanton by the wrist.

"UNHAND ME, YOU FIEND!" Stanton cried out of nowhere. "I mean, what the_ hell_ are you doing?!"

"Giving you your reward." His voice suddenly deepened as he pulled a dagger from his pocket. "Your eternal reward."

Stanton's eyes widened in sudden realization. "YOU _ARE_ LAMBERT!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" The parrot squawked from inside his trench coat.

Lambert started to stab Stanton, when Cassandra chomped down harshly on his wrist.

"ARGH!" Lambert cried, letting his grasp slip on Stanton.

"AHHHHHH!" Stanton screamed as he pummeled back down into the cave.

Lambert shook his arm mercilessly and Cassandra came tumbling after.

The surfboard dived for her, but it was too late for Stanton. One thud against the hard sand and he was out like a light. On the surface, the ocean roared one final time before the water crashed back together again.

"HAR! HARDY HAR!" Lambert cackled from his row boat. "It's mine! It's all mine!" He searched his pockets. "I... Where is it? No... NOOOOOOOOO!"

Aura sighed heavily from the trench coat.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Killingsworth residence... 

Serena was sitting in her bedroom moping over Stanton. Wally patted her eyes lightly with a Kleenex.

"Serena?" Collin walked in. "Have you seen any of my magazines?"

Silence.

"You know the ones."

Silence.

"... not that I'm going to do anything... naughty with them. I just..." He trailed off when he saw the forlorn expression on her face and went to sit down on the foot of her bed. "What's wrong?"

"Lambert" _Sniff Sniff_. "The pirate" _Sniff Sniff._ "Has done something." _Sniff._ "Terrible." She stuck her bottom lip out.

"_What?!"_ Collin nearly had a heart attack. "_My_ pirate?! No way!"

"I'm" _Sniff Sniff_. "Telling." _Sniff Sniff._ "Dad."

Collin's demeanor immediately changed. "Fiiiine..." He cradled her head in his arms. "I'll talk to him about it. Now tell me everything."

* * *

Read & Review! Tell me if you liked it or not or how it compares to the rest of the story. It's been years since I updated and I can see the change in my style. 


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